On loving your enemies…

July 9, 2009 - Leave a Response

 I liked this excerpt of an article I read posted on Face Book…

” ‘Within the best of us, there is some evil, and within the worst of us, there is some good,’ Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. preached in ‘Loving Your Enemies,’ a sermon delivered to his Dexter Ave. Baptist Church congregation in 1957. ‘When we come to see this, we take a different attitude toward individuals.’ 

‘And when you come to the point that you look in the face of every man and see deep down within him what religion calls ‘the image of God,’ you begin to love him in spite of — no matter what he does, you see God’s image there.’ “

My Mac Book Pro

February 20, 2009 - Leave a Response

 

My Mac Book Pro

 

Handicaps have set me a reeling

Seems my learning style is all mucked

If I cannot live up to the plan here

I mine as well give up!

 

“Put simply so you’ll understand it

Your brain has a processing problem

An abstract way of reasoning

Don’t worry we’ll get to the bottom”

 

They’ve called it slight dyslexia

An inability to read very well

I tried hard to focus upon each line

Yet the letters would not sit still

 

And with that came another

More- a dyslexia of thought

My ideas now all flying around

To one place how could they be brought?

 

So I gathered my thoughts onto paper

Who cares if my spellings a crock!

Yet here lied a much deeper problem

My notes seemed to always get lost!

 

But then I found a solution

 In a surreal monitor screen

Yet let’s not to forget the brains inside

 A duo processor so sleek & quite keen!!

 

Its accessible memory was better than mine

For a hard drive it did contain

No longer having to try so hard

I now knew I was not insane!

 

Not only did it help me to focus

It spelled my wrong words right

The words not seeming to jump around

My thoughts being always in sight!

 

 It also held in it great resource

Any questions? (With me there were lots)

I’d just google in some very choice words

And knowledge to me here was brought!

 

Oh how I miss my Mac Book Pro

My brain it was able to tap

We had become such an exultant team

Where e’r I went— it sat on my lap!

 

Eloyce M Witzel

2/27/08

 

 

 

Dear Steve Jobs,

 

I only have dreams of my mac book pro, I gave mine to my son Jason to take with him to a university in Michigan.  While working there at his job, it was stolen from out of his backpack.

 

I come from an extended family of Mac users, I’ll never accept anything less.  Now at age 45 I am going back to school.  I’m  writing a book, and have started a blog which includes more of my poetry, along with some of my art and music.   My husband Eddy is working on his PhD.  All is not lost though; we share a Mac Mini attached to my desk at home. In it is my whole life.

 

Perhaps you might be interested in my poem.  We could negotiate a trade…  An iphone and a laptop in exchange for my poem…

 

Until then,


Eloyce Witzel

GO

February 19, 2009 - Leave a Response

GO

 

Please- I ask of you don’t judge

If an understanding of me is lacking

For my ears and your ears are different

I hear what of me- God is asking

 

The first time I thought I heard

“All you have to do is ask”

Despondent I asked him to help me

Get through a disparaging task

 

The next time He said “I need you to Go”

Family & friends thought we were crazy

We headed off to parts unknown

The trail ahead He was blazing

 

One time He said “Just wait stand still”

Through hard circumstances I’d understand

My roll in God’s great big picture

He definitely had here a plan…

 

Right now He has asked me to listen

Though His voice I don’t always hear 

Especially when hurrying and scurrying

Like on Friday when that deadline is near

 

I  just love to be where God is

I recon again He’ll say go

So I’m packing my bags up early

Where we’ll end up- I never know!

 

Eloyce M Witzel

2/27/08

My Wall

February 9, 2009 - One Response

I use to not let people mess with my wall

Erected for my safty

A massive one of imposing hight

I know this may sound sort of crazy

 

Sometimes- I’d let someone step just inside

If they’d only talk about weather

Yet- venture past my safety zone

I’d avoid ‘em from then on-  forever!

 

I’d scoot them out turn my head

And leave ‘em wondering wherein

Blocking them out by acting aloof 

So uncomfortable in my own skin

 

I’ve change a bit- my wall’s sitting height

All part of what God’s been doing…

Yet sometimes I feel all exposed inside

All transparent… like everyone’s looking

 

I ask… How can I help others like me

If I don’t share what God has done?

Other’s who hide who they really are

Who find them selves too- on the run

 

What is it that I’m afraid of…

The me- who’s getting in touch?

No masquerade- Just the real thing

God’s child- whom He loves so much!

 

Eloyce  January 17, 2009

Sing Love Live Dance

February 9, 2009 - Leave a Response

Lets sing love live and dance

Upon this wide world

While we’ve got the chance…

 

Words deeply etched inside my heart

Yet oddly a state of mind

Strangely entangled they often meet up

In murmurous of perilous times

 

Most blessings from our loving God

Get dirtied and abused

In this earthly place we live

More often- they’re miss used

 

Let’s sing love live and dance

Upon this wide world

While we’ve got the chance…

 

Words known to be essential

For God’s abundant life to live 

It’s far too dangerous to sort it all out

For safety we burry our heads

 

What makes a counterfeit?

How do we know- true or false?

Which meanings bring praise to our loving God

To shine forth from our hearts?

 

Let’s sing love live and dance

Upon this wide world

While we’ve  got the chance…

 

Eloyce 2/27/09

On Removing All Doubt

February 3, 2009 - Leave a Response

Thanks to a wise person on Face Book, I’ve finally found my favorite quote, and here it is… “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”  Dr. Seuss.  

Coming from a Adventist cultural heritage of only nonfictional reading, I find it no wonder I was not allowed to read books like “The Cat in the Hat”…  so silly and frivolous; everyone knows animals don’t talk, eggs aren’t green… and ham? Well, we wont go there…

Here is another one… “It’s better to remain silent and be thought a fool- than to speak up and remove all doubt.”  I grew up with this phrase as the basis of my dubious love/hate roller-coaster of confidence and self doubt.  And now as an adult trying to figure out my complex self, I’ve discovered that it was Aberham Lincoln who originally said these words!  Wow, this was a little shocking to me, I had to think this one through…  

I’m confident that old Abe didn’t mean this quippy phraise to be used to shut people up and stifle creative thought.   I give everyone the benefit of the doubt; so perhaps he came up with it out of his own insecurities and inability to communicate what he was thinking at a given time… I know that’s how I am;  I’m by no means stupid nor oblivious to the concerns of those around me; I just sometimes have a hard time accessing my brain at the appropriate times. 

Quips are odd and unplanned, yet useally precise and to the point.  Sometimes they flow out of me as if I were always in total control of the situation; at other times I waste a perfectly good opportunity with only a blank stare…  

One winter while strolling through a clothing store, I had a colorful green and blue stripe scarf jump off the rack and into my cart.  I couldn’t figure out why I liked it so much, but I had to buy it!  Later my sister complimented me on my “Dr. Seuss scarf”…  Yes!  That’s what it was-  bold, silly and frivolous, free from all doubt… I still love to wear it… It makes me feel good and smile inside.

Eloyce

Eloyce’s 25 Random Things

January 27, 2009 - Leave a Response

These were compiled for face Book at the peek of the craze…  There’s nothing like bearing your soul to anyone who cares to take a look… Here goes mine!

 

1.  I thought I was done comparing my self to others… I thought it no longer mattered what others thought of me.  Not yet true… But it is good to know that I’m not the only one who has been growing and maturing through the years; it’s good to finally be more at ease with myself so I can notice the same in others…

2. Sometimes when I look at anything I’ve written, it looks absolutely inspired; other times it looks simply odd and insignificant.  I use to always take myself much too seriously… Now it’s only intermittent behavior.

3.  I learned to use my height to make myself untouchable, but 26 years ago Eddy eluded the measuring stick and captured my heart.  (We’re about the same height, but I still let him believe he is taller…)

4.  I didn’t know I had a fear of heights till I rode an elevator up to the top of the Sears Tower…  I once hiked all the way from Yosemite’s Glacier Point to Half Dome, but stopped short at the bottom of the final cable ladder because I felt sick.

5.  Eddy and I started an alternative church plant, which met weekly in its building for over 5 years.  H20 (living source) has now gone building-less, where we still keep in contact with our friends, and are constantly reassessing what “church” really is.  We’ve considered changing our name to aquifer.

6.  I slipped on some decomposed granite and broke my ankle while looking for rumored dinosaur tracks.  What ensued was a 7 hr. surgery by one of the best orthopedic surgeons in the US, and the inability to walk for over a year….  Now about 4 years later, (even though I still have my metal plate and pins) I’m usually able to walk a couple miles at one time, with no pain!

7.  I love nature and like to sit alone and take in all its sights and sounds.  I also like to 4-wheel drive through our desert with its rugged foothills and dry washes. 

8.  I like to collect rocks and small boulders for my yard.

9.  I like to buy old stuff and make it new, then sell it or give it away to anyone who recognizes it’s value.

10. I don’t like to read; but I’m writing a book.

11. I once worked in a library, but took so long to put the books away that I got to do all the bulletin boards instead.

12. I received the Bank of America Art award when I graduated from high school, but never realized what it meant till I was 45. 

13. I use to teach Kindergarten, but discovered that I’m more an artist-decorator than a teacher; I loved it till all the kids showed up…

14. One of my favorite jobs was taking care of the Lodge at Camp Cedar Falls, where I had a small gift shop for a short while.

15. All my life I’ve loved to sing.  I haven’t mastered any musical interment, so that’s what my voice has become.  Someday, maybe in heaven, I want to learn how to play the drums.

16. When things really affect me or just hang on my mind, I process them into poetry.  Some of my poems come in song.

17. I forget what I’m thinking all the time, so my husband got me a scuba writing board for my shower, ‘cause that’s where my thoughts seem to flow most freely…  I also keep a journal with me at other times, just incase.

18. My grandmother died when my dad was born; his father was older and in poor health, so gave my dad to his best friends to rise.  I’ve been on a 12-year journey to find my father’s Henderson and Reinke birth families, which has been very fun rewarding.

19. I was born in California, and have been to 46 of these 50 United States; but barely into Canada or Mexico, and never across an ocean.

20. I love to travel… especially to places of personal historical value, and would love to go on a trip to the former Eastern Prussia’s Tilsit, (Today’s Sovetsk, Kaliningrad Russia.) and many other parts of Europe.

 21. I love to just sit in my car and watch people.  Through out my life I have gained much insight by being able to put myself in other people’s shoes. I love to learn through life experiences; yet often times those end up being the life experiences of others.

22. About 5 years ago I became a cat person…I saved a kitten’s life and we’ve been bonded ever since.

23. People use to say that I looked like princess Dianna; that didn’t last long, but I was recently proud to discover that we are both INFP’s

24. I despise force or competition and always opt for win-win solutions.

25. God has blessed me with much… but my very favorite blessings are my husband and my kids.

 

Another’s Shoes

January 18, 2009 - 2 Responses

Come on God! Why send me people?

You’re so good at all that You do-

They rattle my cage- my comfort zone

Life was easy asleep in my pew

 

So different then us- I can’t understand 

He obviously has no money…

She stands to her feet and raises her hands

They hug me- call everyone honey…

 

My hand across my mouth- I hear a small voice

What God-  You speak to them too?

You’ve opened the eyes of their hurting hearts?

Their sharing what they got from You?

 

Why can’t You speak to me this way?

I pray –  I ask for Your leading…

Why can’t I see angels hovering about?

Lord- when will I ever be ready…

 

“You haven’t gone through what they have

You can not fit in their shoes…

Don’t judge intentions you can’t understand

Just listen and pray to be used”

 

Oh Lord, please make me willing

Open my deaf ears too

I want to understand the ways of Your heart

I want to be used- only by You!

 

Eloyce- January 18, 2009

A Love That Brings Life

January 17, 2009 - One Response

Why do I still go to church? Many of my friends ask the question…  and many of my friends don’t go to church any more.  Today it’s me who’s doing the asking…

Church is hard for me as I’ve come to realize that many people in my church family are a paralyzing force in my need to be transparent and real. It can be a truly hostile environment for both me and my husband, but we have no alternative place to go. It’s much easier to stay positive, and close to the God who loves me with no strings attached, if I just stay home where it’s warm and inviting.  Sometimes I do…

Yet Eddy and I seem to have found our place, sitting in the overflow room where the timid, the misunderstood or unappreciated tend to gather, and slip out before the last hymn; hoping to avoid being noticed. We bring our church toys even though we have no more kids, and pass them out to family’s with children seated about us who are often time visitors. This seems to make church more enjoyable for both of us.

God has blessed me with a love of good music.  Although for some, the word good is debatable, this represents a big part of my turmoil I’m feeling right now. I cannot be involved in a way that is meaningful to me, cause I’ve been stamped unapproved.  My music; the way through which God speaks to my soul, has been said to be wrong and distasteful. I’ve recently started singing at church again, but only those songs deemed proper by someone else’s standards.

The curse of criticism, (as Eddy refers to it) I think is at the core of me not being able to always feel confident of who God made me to be… to be comfortable in letting people see the real me; in opening myself up to others, even ones who I know are safe. It’s been a life time of conditioning, and now God has been very busy being my protector when I let him… but I don’t always remember to let him.

The even harder part of all this, is seeing other’s who God has brought to my church, who don’t fit in even more obviously than I.  I’m not so worried about the ones who do fit in;  my heart goes out to the young, the artistic, the musically talented, the sensitive ones who are looking for a little compassion and understanding. (As well as truth, of course!)  I so badly want to protect them from the people who have been so judgmental and hurtful and caused so much harm to others in the past, but there’s not a whole lot I can do… 

…or is there?

God plunked a bible verse that I’ve never even memorized into my head last week.  I love it when He does that…  “From death unto life!”  were the words that strongly came to my mind while I was finishing up my sculpture.  I came home, googled them and found them to be from 1 John 3:14. We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love abides in death.” I believe God put this on my heart, because even though I didn’t initially realize it when I set out to do this project; these words are exactly what my sculpture portrayed…  For me, often times “the brethern” are the hardest ones to love… the ones on the platform, and sitting in the front pews with in my family of God.  This must be why I still go to church…

Jesus, please help me to love the way You do.  The very ones who spat on You and ultimately put You to death, You loved anyway… Your father God sent You here because He sooo loved… People who don’t even realize what harm they are doing; You still love.  This is a rare love that’s hard to understand, yet one that You showed brings life.  This is what I want… a Love that brings Life!

Where-with-all

January 16, 2009 - One Response

If a picture’s worth 1000 words

Than the oposite must also be true

Cause some of our brains work differently

So don’t let my words bother you

 

If life is a pressure cooker

Then my billowing thoughts must be steam

Soaring throughout the the stillness of air

Much like an espresso machine

 

A word can be worth 1000 pics

In my mind’s eye- that’s certainly true

Just one word and images build

Day dreamin’s what I tend to do

 

Last week the word “where-with-all” came bursting forth

When I had none… so I thought

Yet I hadn’t heard those words said- since I was a kid

My mom use to use them a lot

 

I’ve heard it said wisdom is what you get

When you don’t get what you want…

But I never really knew what I wanted in life

Till I already liked what I got!

 

Maybe what I’m getting is “where-with-all”

A confidence and resolve to finish

A work God started a long time ago

I know now…  that He will accomplish!

 

Eloyce

January 16, 2009